Pizza: A Pilgrimage of Passion

I've just succumbed to the siren song of spice, the forbidden fruit of the pizzaiolo's oven. Not just any pizza, mind you, but a Vesuvius of cheesy, saucy goodness, crowned with enough jalapeños to make a dragon cry. 

Let me paint a picture, my darlings: a canvas of golden crust, its edges blistered and begging for a dunk in the garlic dip. Upon this bready base, a vibrant tapestry of tomato sauce, its hue the blush of a️️️ after a particularly steamy salsa lesson. And then, the pièce de résistance: a galaxy of pepperoni cups, each one a miniature volcano waiting to erupt with molten meaty goodness.

But this, my friends, was no ordinary pepperoni pizza. This was a pizza for the brave, the adventurous, the heat-seekers who like their️️️ with a little somethin' somethin' extra. Scattered amidst the pepperoni like constellations in a sky of molten cheese were these little green… demons. Jalapeños, they called them. Tiny slices of emerald fire, promising both pleasure and pain in equal measure.

Let me tell you, that first bite was like a mariachi band erupting in my gob. My taste buds did the fandango, my sinuses cleared like a drain after a rogue turkey baster, and a tear of pure, fiery joy rolled down my cheek. I'm pretty sure I saw smoke coming out of my ears.

Oh, how I devoured that pizza! Each bite was a tango with destiny, a waltz with the devil on a dance floor paved with melty mozzarella. My lips tingled, my forehead beaded with sweat, but I couldn't stop. It was like a runaway train fueled by molten cheese and capsaicin, careening towards flavourtown with reckless abandon.

And then, the aftermath. A slow burn, a gentle simmer, a heat that lingered long after the last crust crumb had met its demise. My stomach, a happy dragon finally sated, purred with contentment. But let's be honest, darlings, there was another kind of heat down there too. A low rumble, a volcanic tremor that promised… let's just say, the night is young.

So, here's to the pizza that took me on a wild ride, the one that left me breathless, sweaty, and utterly satisfied. May your crust be forever golden, your cheese forever gooey, and your jalapeños forever potent. You were, my fiery friend, a slice of heaven.

Remember, Cumbria, life is too short for bland pizzas. Embrace the heat, and may your bowels have mercy on you.

Link: Kebab House, Cleator Moor 

Hotshot Pizza


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